Discontented cuts Inside

All my blogs have all been inspired by music or some song to which I have become addicted to. Something I am feeling, there's something thats wrong. Pain is the only time I feel human.

I am falling again. WHY?? Why must I fall all the time? You are killing me. Why must I always fall for the wrong girl?WHY??????

Boyfriends and Ex-boyfriends and dads and brothers, basically all men out there are making my life hell through a girl.

Its a talent, this knack for finding the most difficult or impossible girls to get and then I fall for them and then they leave. Then months of sleepless nights and anxiety & the whole thing will repeat itself again. Maybe I have become the most uneligible bachelor in the world and the only girls that are interested in me are the ones i cant see myself with. Why???? I see myself in this other guy that guy shows me my future which leads nowhere. Everyday drink ( even though I don't drink & smoke) till your eyes become the story of your life and then smoke and go un-noticed or being bitched behind by back by some self-righteous looser.

Where am I heading? I was returning to my happy mode for past two months, I mean really happy it showed on my face, my confidence and how i dressed but I guess its back to the same old shit. I am making the same mistake again. Its 3 am in the morning and I am writing god knows what? Will I ever be god and reach that ultimate power?

I want to shout at the top of my lungs neither do i have the energy or the confidence to do so(what if some one hears, what if someone sees me and thinks I am a weirdo??). Basically I am living this life right now to show how normal I am.

Well this blog has not been updated for a while and I keep adding stuff to this post which has not been published. This time has basically been spent on running after the wrong chic(fuck you!!!!). I am in a very angry mood since friday because of her ex. And its pissing me off and I dont want to be the friend who is always there. Fuck this shit!!!!

Finally one positive news, I have got through a graduate program and look forward to join the program next year. WHY WON'T YOU DIE, YOUR BLOOD IN MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Currently listening to Linkin Park - System, I think it was featured in Underworld soundtrack) But god I am so angry, I am actually grinding my teeth, I am not a nice person. WHY won't she call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LINKIN PARK RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!