Song in background : Eskimo Joe - From the sea
In a knot again, the world is repeating itself now, same obsession, same anxiety but this time i cannot interact with the situation because i should not. There's nothing but pain and complications for all of us, if i did. As much as you love someone or care for someone you still can't make them feel as strongly about you.
Four years of trying to move on, resulted in me coming back to the same place, nothing has resulted in the right direction. The funny thing is - you are the ONLY exception. A whole relationship based on coincidences. But it's too late now, you have moved on, probably happy with your life.
When it all ended I knew this much, I had made the biggest mistake of my life but for just once I wanted you to fight for us, but you chose to avoid future hypothetical pains and I chose to give up. But still struggle with this question every day, did i make the right decision, I am not sure what the future holds for both of us. The truth of the matter is, I was tired of fighting for you, after years of convincing you, after years of being besides you no matter what.
I guess this is all pointless, this late night pondering, but i still wonder - how do you remember me, do you still think of me, do you feel the way, for once i want to know what is in your heart of hearts, still don't know how we reached this point. I was too afraid to know the answer back then, it's too late now.
The people surrounding probably laugh at me, still stuck where you were four years ago. What an eejit! I have been through so much more in the last four years, but still you are a given constant. The irrational part of me that still dictates my life and course of my life. The skin still crawls with "you don't care and don't want to care". I still hope for that co-incidence, but even if that co-incidence happened, I will be too afraid to do anything. Because that is how I live my life now, "Without risks". And you are the biggest risk of them all.
I wonder how people do it, how they deal with it all....Obsession is destructive for human psyche. Now, that the threads of my entire psyche lie in tatters again. If only i could make a deal with god, if existent, if ever listening, if caring... but there are other people who deserve my prayers more than myself.
The consequences of a single moment 4 years ago, has rendered my future so very complicated. I cried for you after such a long time...
I have loved you like no other, then why did things turn out this way.
In a knot again, the world is repeating itself now, same obsession, same anxiety but this time i cannot interact with the situation because i should not. There's nothing but pain and complications for all of us, if i did. As much as you love someone or care for someone you still can't make them feel as strongly about you.
Four years of trying to move on, resulted in me coming back to the same place, nothing has resulted in the right direction. The funny thing is - you are the ONLY exception. A whole relationship based on coincidences. But it's too late now, you have moved on, probably happy with your life.
When it all ended I knew this much, I had made the biggest mistake of my life but for just once I wanted you to fight for us, but you chose to avoid future hypothetical pains and I chose to give up. But still struggle with this question every day, did i make the right decision, I am not sure what the future holds for both of us. The truth of the matter is, I was tired of fighting for you, after years of convincing you, after years of being besides you no matter what.
I guess this is all pointless, this late night pondering, but i still wonder - how do you remember me, do you still think of me, do you feel the way, for once i want to know what is in your heart of hearts, still don't know how we reached this point. I was too afraid to know the answer back then, it's too late now.
The people surrounding probably laugh at me, still stuck where you were four years ago. What an eejit! I have been through so much more in the last four years, but still you are a given constant. The irrational part of me that still dictates my life and course of my life. The skin still crawls with "you don't care and don't want to care". I still hope for that co-incidence, but even if that co-incidence happened, I will be too afraid to do anything. Because that is how I live my life now, "Without risks". And you are the biggest risk of them all.
I wonder how people do it, how they deal with it all....Obsession is destructive for human psyche. Now, that the threads of my entire psyche lie in tatters again. If only i could make a deal with god, if existent, if ever listening, if caring... but there are other people who deserve my prayers more than myself.
The consequences of a single moment 4 years ago, has rendered my future so very complicated. I cried for you after such a long time...
I have loved you like no other, then why did things turn out this way.
