Saturday, May 21, 2005

Helpful Insight to No-one

As usual(well not usual but something of a habit for last six months), I sit in the morning at 5am on another lousy weekend, not that I don't have plans for the weekend. I have so many places to go to that it might just seem like a weekday but hey, who's complaining.

Got a stupid park cricket match with some loosers from the rich end of the town. Not to say that they drive mercs or beamers but I still love to play mind games before a match. But not the point of the blog. Before I begin the point of the blog, let me (bitch, have to use another word not a male ego satisfying word => lets use "rant", shall we!! and if you haven't noticed I love to dissect human emotions into a set of cause and actions or reactions, you can call it love to establish causality in the human emotion system => now talked like a true engineer, which brings me to my current dream job obsession of being A Psychiatrist, anyways moving forward). let me rant about the bally sagoo show tonite we were supposed to go to and couldn't get entry but hey who's complaining. The show was a dud last two times as well so don't expect it to be a major hit tonite as well. Don't get me wrong, the music's good but you can't pick up chics (the major reason for an semi-introvert like ME to go to such loud places, and apologies to any feminist activists/lesbians 4 picking up thing:) ) because all the chics have the so called "male friends" and wanna-be boyfriends who are ready to gouge your eyes out as soon as you lay eyes on their so called sister girlfriends because they are not going to get anywhere themselves and won't let the easily intimidated semi-introverts like me to get any where either but hey who's complaining.

So the reason I am awake is because I have a pounding headache because I went and saw Star Wars : The Revenge of Sith (or better still The Revenge of George Lucas the bad script writer). Class movie moment was when "Lord Sidious or Cidius reveals to our not so young Anakin Skywalker who has just turned to the not-so dark side that his secret wife Padmini (can't remember the real name, but ever gorgeous Natalie Portman, loved her in Closer) dies while giving birth to his kids, then he breaks his shackles and shouts "Guess people!!!, what would u expect in a cheesy hindi flick or a parody of a revenge flick", yes my young, padawans THE DARK DARTH VADER shouts in the most cheesiest way possible "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". So please spare your self of the two hours of agony of cheesy dialogues straight out of a HINDI flick and rather go and watch NAINA.

NO offence to any die-hard Star Wars fans who might want me to die but hey I am complaining, about my death ofcourse.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Half Asleep Half Dazed

As I am half-awake or half-asleep whichever way you want to think of it, well as I am here right now 1:30 AM in the morning. I don't want to sleep because I don't want tomorrow to come but I know I can't stay awake longer but still in the hope that today won't pass I stay awake and think. Think!, What should I do now? Where do I go now?

I am as confused or as in-denial as I have never been before. I wish to succeed but yet I pause for a moment and think that what if all this is a waste of time, a road that leads nowhere, a conspiracy theory or just a inhumane experiment being conducted upon me by a higher force. Whatever might be the most plausible explanation to your mind, that keeps you going that ever-elusive one more day? But still I ponder upon my fate, if such a thing exists, NOW WHAT??? Where am I going???

Or If I am even asking the right questions? Don't people have doubts. I have seen people who show no signs of doubt. My dear sir, I was that man one time, no doubts, no clue but still no doubts. I was like a hero who was dumber than the post as they say, but still managed to come out on the top. But at this moment let me tell you that Ignorance is Bliss, sir. I was happy as a lark, my dear readers. But where did that happiness go don't know but let me tell you one thing, nothing matters in the end whether you had great grades or even if you the scholar that everyone said that you should be, all that matters is that you are happy in your heart and soul. But you might wonder why no-one ever includes mind in that equation because sir as I found out the mind can be never happy. It doesn't understand any emotion its like a microchip (I don't call it computer because software still gives it some heart) but microchip is cold. It sees the whole world as bunch of electrical signals, it might be the most complex thing but still is the most cold of all.

Is the world cold? Sure it is, if you are at the bottom of the food chain. Me you see my dear readers, I am the simpleton who believed the idealistic do-gooders who told us in schools that HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY but let me tell you sir that you are going to the empty shack right next to honesty's shack where you can fry your tactlessness on the cigar stub thrown out by the feeder's at the top of the food chain. And I my friends just wanted to see how is it down there but let me tell you that Honesty maybe the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.

So sir, I say plead INSANITY for where-ever you go, and you shall be absolved of all consciousness and maybe just maybe you will be happy in your mind.

As great Jagjit Singh sang "Aah ko chahiye, ik umar asar hone tak, kaun jita hai, teri zulf ke sar hone tak".

Friday, May 13, 2005

Who Am I?

While listening to Indian Ocean's Bande from soundtrack Black Friday, I hereby create history, by creating my first blog. Time stamp: 2:38PM AEST.