Power of thoughts

I am dying to succeed. I am dead scared to try. People around me are telling me everything will be fine. But its not about being fine its about reaching the top. What am I doing wrong? I want to live my life to the fullest. Finally I feel that I am in full control of my life but yet I hesitate to BLOW and take hold of this life. But this hesitation brings a new panache, a new breath into my existence. I want excitement in my life or maybe I don't.

But I want to experience new things in life. I want to scream out that I am ready now but this does not mean that I should stop learning. I want to be the engine of perfection. I never thought I would ever say this but I demand "PERFECTION". I want to shout out that I am ready. Am I?

Will this self-doubt ever go away? The repetitive visualisation in my head has changed. I am different yet I am the same. Why am I craving the Ultimate Power? To me Perfection is the source to the Ultimate Power. Ultimate Power (definition) having the power to make the vacuum around you move. I am god, Am I god, Am I possessed by my darkeness, What is powering me, (Yet as I write my thoughts i seem to be loosing something?), Do your thoughts loose power when you express them?

Let me ask you something, close your eyes for a moment and think of a scene or a picture which represents THE POWER to you (which makes you feel, POWERFUL again)?

I FEEL POWERLESS NOW. Has the power been lost in the words above? I think when you say something or write something it looses its power, Somehow it becomes corrupt. If you ask me, what is the purest thing in the world?

A Thought, dying at the first moment of its existence.

But what irony does thought suffer from? It looses its power (its meaning) the more it propagates.

Capitalism, Socilaism, Religion, whatever? were just thoughts and now can be seen as the part of corruption that surrounds us.