Living through what could've been....

Waking from this slumber,
to search for the lost present,
to find a reason,
which led to avoiding you with such vehement passion.

I remember the rationalisations,
but I don't remember the course of action,
I can repeat the reasons,
but can't fathom your reservations.

Weak moments have occurred,
but have passed,
this time was different,
because time already had, the die cast.

Recursion of the same times,
reminder of the sane tides,
the need for seeking the familiar,
has led to living through what could've been....


  

Grey

Song in background : Maryan - Yenga pona raasa

It's time to learn.
It's time to heal.
It's time to put things on an even keel.

It's time for moving forward.
It's time for moving past.
It's time for retiring the mental cast.

It's time for coincidences to end.
It's time for you and me to be laid to rest.
It's time for things to happen at my behest.

Alas, it's not to be.
Again, I resign to my fate of coincidences.
No control, no commander.
Once again, I begin to ponder.

Thoughts like heavy anchors,
stirring my mind's settled floor,
exposing the settled scabs of the gone era,
loosening my grip on this terra firma.