Living through what could've been....

Waking from this slumber,
to search for the lost present,
to find a reason,
which led to avoiding you with such vehement passion.

I remember the rationalisations,
but I don't remember the course of action,
I can repeat the reasons,
but can't fathom your reservations.

Weak moments have occurred,
but have passed,
this time was different,
because time already had, the die cast.

Recursion of the same times,
reminder of the sane tides,
the need for seeking the familiar,
has led to living through what could've been....